


The Talk

by Cuthwyn



Series: Joyfire Week 2017 [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Dick's pink monstrosity, F/M, M/M, Protective Dick, The shot gun talk to end all shot gun talks, alcohol consumption, bad idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuthwyn/pseuds/Cuthwyn
Summary: On a night out Dick discovers that Jason, Roy and Kori's friendship may not be entirely platonic.No one smiles that there crotch while playing Candy Crush!Let's just say Dickie ain't a happy birdy and then in Tim's words 'the world exploded.'Basically Bruce gives Roy and Kori the shot gun talk ... sort of?Joyfire Week: Day 2: A very bad idea.





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So, this one was kinda hard because 'a very bad idea' doesn't narrow it down with these three?
> 
> Happy Birthday Jason!

Music thrummed through air that held a mist of musk and perfume. Multicoloured lights flashing on and off to the beat illuminating the throngs of people dancing and grinding away. Dick wormed his way through the crowds with practised skill to reach the booth him and a few of his older siblings had claimed for the night. Tim was off dancing somewhere with crowd A, the folks drunk enough to enjoy themselves but sober enough to at least try a maintain personal boundaries. The boy was underage but no one said no to a Wayne, and Dick just felt hypocritical saying he couldn't tag along. He'd lost track of Babs and Cass somewhere by the toilets, and Dick could only guess the girls had gone in there to powder their nose or practise voodoo, he never was too sure exactly what girls did the bathroom?  
Smiling to himself, Dick sauntered over to the booth, his smile entering goofy grin territory when he saw who was sat there. Jason, his Little Wing, was out, participating in society, and tonight looked just like any other normal dude. He was dressed in a shirt and dark jeans, clean shaven and he'd done something with his hair to make it look purposely rugged, if that was a thing? Combined with the eyeliner and slightly chipped nail polish, Jason looked hot, even if he was his brother.

‘Same again Jay?’ Dick bellowed over the music, silently chiding himself because of course his brother looked like any other dude out here tonight, his brother had a mental illness not the bubonic plague.  
Jason lifted his eyes to study his empty beer bottle pensively before nodding and handing his brother the empty.  
‘Virgin All American on the rocks, please bro.’ Jason replied with a slight smile, before going back to his phone. Dick pouted and folded his arms, looking very much like a toddler who's been told they couldn't have anymore sweets.  
‘That's just a coke with ice Jay?’  
‘Yup.’  
‘Come on! You've had like, one beer dude! We're having fun, remember?’  
Jason paused playing about on his phone and raised his eyes to meet his older brother with a look a parent would give to the toddler sulking because they couldn't have anymore sweets.  
‘I've had two beers and that pink monstrosity with sugar around it you made me have. Virgin coke on the rocks Dick, and I mean it!’  
Knowing a losing battle when he saw one, Dick sighed and sulked off towards the bar.  
‘Fine! But you're dancing with me!’  
‘You keep believing that Goldie.’ Jason shot back with a grin. ‘I got that chick’s number for ya when you? Bring me my drink and I’ll give it to ya.’

Rolling his eyes, Dick shimmied his way through the crowd until he reached the bar and managed to flag down a barman.  
‘Strawberry daiquiri and a coke with ice please.’ He ordered, knowing full well that if he snuck vodka or anything else in Jason's coke he’d only end up wearing it. Leaning on the bar on his elbows, Dick flicked his eyes across the crowd and spotted Tim, Babs and Cass giggling together at the far end. Motioning to the barman that he was moving further down, Dick sidled up to them and placed his chin on Barbara's shoulder.  
‘What's the joke?’ He enquired, watching Cass share a look with Tim before giggling behind her hand. ‘Aw come on guys, share with the class!’  
‘Haven't you noticed?’ Tim asked with a wry grin, and Dick frowned.  
‘Noticed what?’  
‘Jay?’ Tim explained, barely able to contain his amusement at his older brother’s confusion.  
Dick swallowed and glanced over his shoulder at Jason sat quite happily in his booth.

‘Don't you think he's acting a little out of character Dick?’ Barbara pressed, with a grin of her own. ‘Before our Jay would be drinking us under the table but he's staying sober?’  
Dick nodded, thinking about his previous conversation. Jason was secretive and Dick guessed it was probably because he was on some meds or something.   
‘And- ‘ Tim continued. ‘Last time you went out with him, he was having sex in the toilets, but tonight he's collecting numbers for you and sitting in that booth texting!‘  
‘He's not texting! He gets anxious so he's probably playing that game he likes.’ Dick defended, completely lost as to what the problem was?  
‘No one looks at their crotch and smiles playing Candy Crush.’ Cass piped up with her soft voice, looking over at Jason as if he was something fluffy and cute.  
‘Come on Big Bird! Be the detective!’ Barbara grinned, nudging Dick in the side as Tim reached over to ruffle his hair.  
‘Yeah D, work it out! It's the family business!’ Tim teased, watching the cogs turn in Dick’s head until his eyes widened in disbelief.

‘Jason is sober. I haven't had to drag him out of public toilets. He's texting and smiling. Oh no!’  
‘Oh yes!’ Babs, Cass and Tim all shouted out like they were at a pantomime, and Dick turned to stare in horror at Jason chuckling at his crotch.  
‘Jason isn't single!’ He said blankly, just as the barman slid his order over to him.  
‘My votes on Roy.’ Barbara chuckled with a knowing wink, only for Cass to tut and shake her head.  
‘No, Kori.’  
Tim just smirked and folded his arms like he did during board meetings with a low chuckle.  
‘Guys! So narrow minded! He's sleeping with both of them, duh! Kori did his eyeliner, Roy painted his nails, Kori chose the shirt and Roy chose his pants. Both of them practically dressed the moron.’  
Dick felt himself pale and a sick, slimy feeling knotted in his stomach. He didn't find this funny, this was a horribly bad idea!

‘The hell you three? Little Wing’s just got out of a psychiatric unit! Like hell he is ready for a relationship! He barely handle a conversation with me!’  
Tim shrugged and lifted his hand to signal the barman to make his own order as if this wasn't a huge deal. Dick wanted to throttle him.  
‘It's his life. I happen to think those two are good for Jay. Anyone who makes Jay smile like that is worthy of him in my book.’  
‘Worthy! Those two? Roy's an addict for crying out loud Tim! And that's just for starters.’  
‘Aren't Roy and Kori your friends too? I don't believe that is a nice thing to say about friends.’ Cass chimed in, giving Dick a look that would melt the polar ice caps. Scowling right back at her, Dick collected his and Jason's drinks and stalked back over to the booth.   
‘I'm gonna go talk to him.’  
‘That is such a bad idea.’ Tim grumbled, shaking his head in lament at his brother's antics. ‘Poor Dick is going to die.’  
‘You're worried about Dick? Jay is going to tell Dick where to stick it and then who will Big Bird blab to huh?’ Barbara replied, beginning to massage her temples in preparation for the fall out.

The music was no longer invigorating, no, now it was just causing a pounding head ache, the heavy beat weighing Dick down with each step towards the booth. Jason hadn't noticed his arrival. Too wrapped up in smiling at his crotch to notice. Dick’s hands clenched around the glasses he was carrying so tightly he was surprised that they hadn't broke. After forever stretched by a few bars and an upbeat chorus, Dick finally made it over, slamming the drinks down on the table. Hard.   
A small pang of guilt hitting him, when Jason gasped and jolted out of his own little world to gaze around the real one in alarm. Finally noticing the source of the sound, Jason lifted his gaze to glare fire and brimstone at his brother.  
‘The fuck’s your problem Dickface?’ He spat, his shoulders stiffening as he unconsciously squared up to him.  
‘Problem? I haven't got a problem? I just came back with the drinks.’ Dick explained with a added cheer in his voice. He knew Jason would pick up on the false emotion and was unsurprised to see him frown, body language becoming more aggressive. Yes, Dick knew this mix match of emotion would jar his brother, that the glasses slamming would put him on edge but he was fed up with playing the ‘I'm okay’ game now. He was fed up with the fact that the world and his dog seemed to be falling for it hook line and sinker.

‘Yeah and almost broke the damn table with them? Why are you lying to me?’ Jason yelled, the hurt in his little brother's voice surprising him a little. Before Arkham, Jason would have smashed his face into said glasses five minutes ago?  
‘Me lying? What about you? No one smiles at their own crotch Little Wing. Give me the phone!’  
Dick practically ordered, holding his hand out expectantly. Jason froze, eyes darting from Dick’s face to his hand and back again.  
‘No.’  
‘What?’  
‘No. I'm saying no Dick. This is my phone. It's private.’  
‘No deal. Hand it over!’  
‘No.’  
‘Jason for the love of God, I'm doing this for your own good!’ Dick bellowed, just as the music stopped for that exact half second. 

Jason's eyes widened just ever so slightly, cheeks tinging in shame at having something like that being yelled at him in a public place. The guy looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. The music had long started up again and no one had paid any heed but that didn't matter. In Jason's world the entire bar was now staring at him in a hushed judgmental silence. Closing his eyes, Dick shook his head before peering up at his brother with a sad smile.  
‘Please Little Wing? I know about Roy and Kori okay? I don't think you understand what's going on. Please, just give me the phone and let me see what they are saying to you. You're not in trouble, I promise.’  
Dick meant to reassure his brother, for Jason to do that slow nod of his when he knew that big brother was right before handing over the phone. That wasn't what happened.  
Jason blinked, and looked at his phone before shooting him a look that seemed almost desperate.  
‘Are you- are you questioning my capacity Dickie?’  
‘Jay no, I'm -‘  
‘Yes! Yes you are! Don't lie to me!’ Jason practically screeched, hot tears welling in his eyes. He looked so hurt Dick almost backed down. Until he saw a familiar twitch in the corner of his Little Wing’s left eye, for a second then, he had almost fallen for the game too.

‘I'm trying to look out for you. I'm trying to help you Jay, please, you've been hurt enough.’  
‘No. Don't you dare! You have no idea, no fucking idea what I've been through. So screw you I-‘ cutting himself off, Jason took a deep breath and very visibly counted to ten before shaking his head and pushing his way through the crowd towards the exit. Panic sparked in Dick’s chest as he tried to get people to just move so he could reach his brother.   
‘Jay? Where are you going?’  
Peering over the crowd, Dick sighed in relief to see that Tim had managed to apprehend Jason at the exit.   
‘For a walk. Just leave me alone.’ Jason spat back, pushing his brother roughly to the side before storming off into the night. Not five minutes later, Dick was being stared down by three very unimpressed Batkids.  
‘You couldn't just leave him be could you? He's happy Dick. So what’s the big deal?’ Tim yelled, Barbara and Cass nodding along in agreement.  
‘But is he?’ Dick mumbled, concerned eyes fixed on the very empty exit.

A few hours later a very drunk, very distraught Dick was herded back to the Manor by his totally done siblings. Pushing open the Manor’s French doors, Cass sighed and eyed up her elder brother as he was practically carried in by Barbara and Tim and deposited on a kitchen chair.  
‘Jason?’ Dick hollered, eyes searching the dark, empty kitchen before attempting to struggle up to his feet only to be pushed down by the younger brother he wasn't searching for. ‘Jason!’  
‘Sssh D! Bruce would've only just got back from patrol. Do you want to get him and Alfred in here? I'm sure Jay is fine, probably sulking because you decided to be an asshat!’ Tim scolded, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder to dissuade any further escape attempts. A glass of water clanked in front of Dick and he glared at it before lifting his eyes to see a very peeved looking Barbara.

‘Babs?’  
‘Don't you Babs me Richard!’  
‘But they takins ad-advantage. My poor Wiggle Wing! I gotta protects him! I'm his big brother!’ Dick argued, before going back to yelling Jason's name at the top of his voice until Cass slapped him sharp and hard across the face.  
‘Jason is fine. The only one acting like a tool here is you. Jay is not some delicate princess from his storybooks, he's a grown ass man for Christ sake Richard. So he may or may not be bumping uglies with Roy and Kori, that's his life, not yours. But oh no, Mr big I am had to go make a big deal out of it and frighten him away! Bravo!’ Barbara carried on giving him a good telling off, slow clapping as she did so.

‘What on earth is going on in my kitchen?’

All froze at the sound of Alfred's voice, all except Dick, who was out of the chair and stumbling towards the butler like a thing possessed.  
‘Jason? Where Jason?’  
Alfred raised an eyebrow, his gaze trailing up and down the eldest Wayne child, taking in his inebriated state and making it quite clear that he was not amused.  
‘Master Jason is yet to return from going out gallivanting with yourself, Master Richard. Am I correct in my assumption that you have upset him Sir?’  
‘Upset is putting it mildly.’ Tim groused under his breath before immediately shutting up when Alfred flicked an equally authoritative look.  
Dick’s eyes widened in horror. Pushing everyone away he stumbled over to the door and began falling out with the door handle in his haste to leave to go out searching for his missing brother.

‘Wiggle Wing! I gots finds him. Not safe.’ He rambled, slamming his hand against the glass of the French doors when opening them proved too difficult.  
‘Master Richard! I will not tolerate this behaviour. Sit down immediately. The only person I see who is a danger to himself is you, and as your father has just returned from patrol that is saying something.’ Alfred scolded, not even blinking when Dick threw him a put upon look and sat back down in his chair.  
‘Dick, Jay is a big boy, he can look after himself. You need to stop treating him like this. Let him make his own choices, even the bad ones, he has every right too.’ Tim practically begged, kneeling down to place grounding hands on Dick’s thighs.  
‘Alfred, please explain why the children are up and shouting? Where's Jason?’ Bruce asked from where he was leaning heavily on the doorway, bandaged and dressed in just his robe and pyjama bottoms. The butler sighed and shook his head in defeat.  
‘I believe Masters Richard and Jason have had a disagreement. Master Richard is drunk enough to make an Irishman cringe and Master Jason appears to be playing hide and seek again, sir.’ 

‘Dick found out about Jason possibly having an active sex life and then the world exploded.’ Tim helpfully added on, arching his eyebrows when Barbara and Cassandra shot him matching looks crossed between shocked and appalled.  
‘What? That's what happened?’   
Closing his eyes, Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the headache building already.   
‘Alright. Bed. Everyone. I’ll deal with Jason and his ‘special’ friends in the morning.’  
Cassandra snorted in amusement and shuffled out with Tim who was chuckling and repeating ‘Jason has special friends’ under his breath.   
‘That includes you too Richard!’ Bruce said with just a hint of tiredness, watching Barbara try and fail to cajole Dick out of the chair.  
‘Jason's still out there! I'm not going to bed until Little Wing is safe!’  
Well, that had sobered the boy up pretty darn fast. Lifting an eyebrow, Bruce shook his head and sighed. Again.  
‘Jason can look after himself. My guess is that he's holed up somewhere to cool-‘  
‘Little Wing would be in Arkham right now if he hadn't of absconded! Am I the only one who remembers this? Considers this at all? He's still not well! Am I seriously the only one who thinks this entire shindig is a bad idea?’ Dick argued, arms flying out in their usual dramatic air.

‘Maybe you should take ‘Little Wing’ back there then? You're the one who shoved him in Arkham Dick not us!’ Tim snapped from where he had reappeared in the doorway.  
All the blood drained from Dick’s face, eyes watering before he wiped at them clumsily and hastily stumbled off, shoving Tim out of the way as he did so.  
‘That was uncalled for Tim!’ Barbara chided, dashing after a distraught Dick. ‘He did what he had to do.’  
Bruce watched the last of his kids leave wrapped up in their own little dramas. With a heavy heart, he looked over at Alfred now stood gazing out at the stars in a melancholy fashion.   
‘I must admit I share Master Richard’s anxieties. I do hope Master Jason has found himself a safe harbour for the evening sir.’  
Nodding, Bruce smiled sadly and scrubbed a hand down his face.  
‘A harbour, yes. Safe? Well, from my understanding that entirely depends on how you look at it.’

Edward Nigma enjoyed a quiet life these days. Just him and his little apartment, well away from Batman and the entire big ball of crazy that came along with it. Stifling a yawn against his fist, the man padded from his bedroom in search of a glass of water. He didn't bother switching on the lights, he knew the layout of by heart.  
‘Jesus Christ!’ Edward shrieked, grabbing a near by gun (a quiet life didn't mean he didn't take precautions) he flipped off the safety and aimed as he flung on the lights.  
A familiar young man was sat on his couch, tear streaked face buried in trembling hands.  
‘For crying out loud. For once could you Bats use a flipping door? You lot are going to give me a myocardial infarction one of these days. I'm getting old now kid!’  
Edward expected a bitter chuckle, a vicious smirk but instead he revived a mumbled ‘sorry’.  
‘Sorry? Boy Wonder? Are you quite alright?’   
Sniffing, Jason lifted his head and tried to hide the fact that he'd been crying.  
‘I'm sorry. I-I don't know where to go and your place was here.’

Nodding slowly, Edward’s eyes observed the boy closely, noting his distress and lack of mask before lifting his eyes to the open window.  
‘Bat or cops?’  
‘Neither.’  
‘Huh, so why not stay at your own place kid? I know you've been out of town but-‘  
‘I went for a walk. I walked and then didn't know where to go. I can't go to a safe house. Nightwing will find me and he-‘ breaking off, Jason fisted his eyes in an attempt to staunch the tears and Edward’s expression softened. Not one for physical contact, he just nodded and looked off towards his kitchen.  
‘Had a falling out huh? Look, how about I fix us a cup of tea? It's okay to cry kid, I promise not to tattle tale on you.’  
This earned him a small chuckle and a couple of big fat tears appeared on the boy’s cheeks.  
‘D-don't tell Arsenal and Starfire. Th-they were so p-pleased that I went out tonight. Don't want ‘em to know I failed. This was such a bad idea.’  
Rolling his eyes, Edward waved off such a ridiculous comment and strode off towards the kitchen. 

Edward used the few minutes gained to reorganise his thoughts and come to terms with the concept of the Red Hood sat in his living room to whistle of the kettle and clanging of spoon against cup.  
The boy was sat staring off into space on his return, fingers drumming against his thighs.  
‘So, pray tell me, what did our boy in blue do this time Boy Wonder? I must say you seem rather vexed from just pulling each other's ponytails again.’ Edward said, settling down beside the boy and pushing a cup of tea into his hands. Nodding, Jason sipped at his drink and tried but failed to hide a small sob into it. Without a word, he unlocked his phone and handed over the incriminating messages.  
‘You use the Dewy Decimal System.’ Jason deflected with a small smile, peeping through his tears at the walls lined with multitudes of books. Nodding, Edward didn't even look up from the text messages he was reading.  
‘Hmm, always were a smart kid. Is there any other way of ordering one’s books?’  
Shaking his head, Jason swallowed thickly and sipped at his tea again.   
‘Nope. Funny how many folks think it's nuts though’

Edward gave a slight grunt of agreement, his eyes widening as he finally reached the point where the Red Hood’s conversation with his new buddies stopped being family friendly.  
‘Wow. Who says poetry is dead? Gosh, you kids today, what's wrong with a love letter?’  
Jason winced and ducked his head into his chest, cheeks tingling a deep shade of pink.  
‘Yeah, Dickwing had a problem with it too.’  
Shaking his head, Edward returned the phone before he got any stupid ideas of snooping further and shrugged a shoulder.  
‘For a smart kid, sometimes your stupidity makes me weep. Last time I saw you, you were sat in the rec room at Arkham, glaring death at anyone who came anywhere near you. If I were to make an educated guess you very much strike me as a romantic who'd appreciate a sonnet over a vulgar image of what's being stuck in which orifice. Maybe Nightwing was as pleasantly surprised as myself?’

The look on the boy’s face spoke volumes to Edward. That the boy probably would prefer an attempt at poetry, an old fashioned love letter over a smut filled text message that would make a hooker blush. His expression snapped to the ever resident defensive anger and the tea splashed out of the mug when he slammed it down on the coffee table.  
‘It’s not like it's been easy? I didn't just bend over. I ain't - I ain't easy.’ Jason argued, hurt almost betraying him in his angry tone. Closing his eyes tightly, Jason drew into himself, curling up into a small tight ball. Not giving a single fuck that it was Edward Nigma’s couch he was falling apart on. Maybe when he calmed down but not right now. ‘I ain't easy, I ain't easy.’ He muttered on repeat.  
Edward didn't touch him. He liked having two hands. Folding said hands into his lap, he worried his lip, not knowing the meaning behind the broken Robin’s mantra and not really wanting to make a guess either, for once.  
‘Easy is the last adjective I would use to describe you Boy Wonder. In fact, you may be the only riddle I am yet to fully solve.’ He said with a sharp smirk, winking at the boy when he lifted his head to look at him. ‘I doubt your friends could speak to you like this without you specific consent.’  
Humming, Jason leant his head back against the couch. Maybe Edward had a point. Maybe Dick was just shocked. Dick never did handle being served curved balls overly well. Too good a detective to consider himself to be wrong.

Breakfast the following morning was a solemn affair at Wayne Manor. Alfred dutifully served the current residents their food and coffee with a stony expression. Dick barely touched a thing, instead swirling his coffee around with a spoon as if it were some sort of oracle.  
Bruce and the rest of the Batclan watched him with interest but it was of no surprise to Alfred.  
The young master had behaved in the exact same manner when Master Jason was in Arkham.   
Out of everyone, Dick had taken Jason's vanishing act the hardest and had spent most of the night watching the winding driveway from the drawing room window.  
‘I’ll take Tim and go search his usual haunts and see if-‘  
‘Dick, you will leave Jason be.’  
‘But Bruce-‘  
‘Leave. Him. Be.’ Bruce repeated pointedly, not even looking up from the morning paper. ‘Jay knows his way home.’  
‘Pfft, you make him sound like a homing pigeon. Pretty sure he ain't even in the city. Sorry to bust everyone's bubble but- ow!’ Tim interjected, rubbing at his shins from where Barbara and Cassandra had both kicked him in the shin.

‘Dick, I’ll have a quiet word with Dad. See what he can do.’ Barbara offered, resting a calming hand on Dick’s shoulder.  
‘Am I speaking in Swahili? I told you all Jason will come back.’ Bruce said, lowering the paper to see everyone, including Alfred looking at him as if he had grown a second head.  
‘Mr Harper and Ms Anders shall be arriving in just under an hour to pick Jay up. He’ll be back.’ Bruce explained with a knowing smile. ‘Dick? If you could keep Jay and everyone else out of the way that would be very helpful. I wish to have a word with Jason's ‘special’ friends.’  
‘You can't be serious!’ Tim gaped, looking at Bruce in utter disbelief. ‘You're seriously giving Roy and Kori the shotgun talk? Jay is not a damsel out of his books with a corset and petticoats!’  
Tim wasn't listened to. Nothing new there.

The hour ticked by and Dick drifted back to the drawing room, glancing up from where he was reading a book, which was a step up from him sitting on the window seat plastering his nose up against the window pane.  
Jason still hadn't shown up and it didn't matter who called him, his phone always rang out and text messages went unanswered.  
Cass stopped mid step and stared out of the drawing room window and a small squeak left her lips before she span around and gave Dick a wide eyed look. Putting down his book, Dick was over at the window in a flash.  
‘Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!’ Dick groaned, leaning his head against the window in abject defeat. His despair called Barbara into the room who took one look outside and rolled her eyes.  
‘Oh of course he had to bring her along didn't he!’ She muttered under her breath.  
‘Who?’ Tim piped up, wandering into the drawing room to see what the commotion was, Damian hot on his tail. They both tilt their head to look out of the window and Tim lets out a low whistle.  
‘Indeed Drake. I fear things are about to get interesting.’

Roy squinted up at the Manor before turning to see Kori staring up at it too. Her face paling significantly.  
‘You remember this place Kor?’  
His words seemed to jolt her out of whatever head space she had been in and her expression hardened.  
‘Not at all. Not a clue. This is Jason's home?’  
‘Kinda yeah. Just- don't say that to him. Jaybird and this place are on shaky terms.’  
‘More reason to get him back to our home swiftly.’ Kori said and Roy nodded, guiding her up the steps and knocking on the door. Anxiety pooled in his stomach. Jaybird wasn't the only one needing to high tail it out of here.  
The large ominous door creaked open but instead of the friendly yet terrifying butler, a rather pissed off Dick was revealed. Cocking his head slightly, Roy noticed the undertow of worry hissing away beneath the anger and awkwardness.  
‘Dick. Nice to see you again.’  
Humming, Dick’s lips thinned further and his eyes lifted to Kori standing by Roy’s arm with the blankest expression known to man.  
‘It's nice to see you Kori.’ Dick mumbled awkwardly, but Kori just blinked at him and shook her head.  
‘My apologies but I have no idea who you are? Is Jason here?’

Dick’s lips twitched downwards slightly at being so obviously blanked by the woman he'd very nearly married. His gut twisted painfully, the words pressed against his lips and it was impossible to hold them at bay.  
‘Yeah? Well Jason isn't here!’  
‘What?’   
Gasping, Kori looked at Roy who was giving the drawing room a very critical look. Jason may have started spending time at the Manor, but no one had convinced him to venture further than the kitchen or the drawing room. There was no evidence of anyone sleeping on the leather couch.  
‘Where is Jaybird Dick? I swear if you've upset him I-‘  
‘I upset him? I'm looking after his best interests. I know about you two texting him illicit stuff and guess what? I told Bruce and now he's going to put an end to it!’ Dick yelled back, hearing the childish tone in his voice but he didn't care.

‘That's enough Dick.’ Bruce announced, striding in from the kitchen, he wiped his hands on a tea towel. ‘Good morning Roy and Koriand’r. I would like a word if you would step this way?’  
‘Roy?’ Kori whispered, nervous energy sparking off her as she watched Bruce’s retreating from. Encircling an arm around her waist, Roy pressed his lips to her temple and shot a smirking Dick a dark glare.  
‘Come on Kori. Let's go see what Bruce wants. We've done nothing wrong.’ Roy said with assured pointedness. Ignoring the gaggle of Batkids staring after them silently.  
‘I must bare witness to this.’ Damian muttered, jogging after the pair of outlaws as fast as his feet could carry him. This was followed promptly by a chorus of ‘me to’s and the thunder of feet as the rest of the Batkids followed suit. All except Dick, who was still staring after his old friends with a very melancholy expression. Suddenly, seeing Roy, being reminded how protective he was, how caring Kori could be, he was starting to think maybe this was the bad idea after all.

Roy settled Kori down in a chair at the kitchen table, he himself choosing to hover, fingers tugging at the cuffs of his jacket sleeves. Bruce hadn't said a word since they had entered the kitchen. Instead, returning to chopping a carrot. Roy couldn't help but wince slightly at as the knife cut through a phallic shaped vegetable.  
‘Please Mr Wayne Sir? We just wanna pick up Jay and we’ll be on our way. Where is he?’ He asked, wishing his voice was less weak and shaky than it was.  
Bruce lifted his eyes and slowly cut into the carrot. Watching how Roy swallowed thickly and readjusted his pants.  
‘Come now, there is no need for such formalities, Son.’  
The knife chopped another slice of carrot.  
‘After all you know my boys so, well. Ain't that right, Son?’  
The knife chopped off another slice of carrot.  
Roy whimpered.  
Kori’s eyes widened at the sudden realisation as to what exactly this conversation was.

Looking up from his ‘chopping’, Bruce smiled a chivalrous smile and motioned towards an empty chair with the knife.  
‘Sit, there's no need to stand on ceremony, Son. How about a drink? Koriand’r? I feel like a nice, strong, bourbon for this conversation.’  
Swallowing, Roy felt his knees begin to buckle and he sat down on the chair before he collapsed.   
‘Um no? Yes, no thank you. Water, water will be fine please, Sir.’ He managed to fumble out, his eyes lifting to see the line of eyes peering through the slight gap of the kitchen door. He didn't want to know how the top set got that high up the door.  
‘Yes, water shall be very thrust quenching.’ Kori chimed in, squeezing Roy's hand as a show of solidarity. Meandering over to the cupboard that held the liqueur, Bruce poured himself a glass of bourbon before making up two glasses of water.  
A small amused smile tugged at his lips.  
‘So, Mr Harper, Ms Anders. I hear you and my son have been getting to know one another? Why don't you tell me about your intentions for him? Roy, gentlemen first?’  
Roy just stared blankly into the abyss that was fast becoming his life.  
‘Um, does sun, sea and a heck of a good time count?’

Tim looked up at Dick, who was leaning over him to peer through the door, and giving him the stink eye was putting it mildly.  
‘I can't believe this.’ He hissed before Cass slapped a hand over Tim’s mouth and leant further in to get a better view of the shot gun talk.  
‘As you all know, I do not tolerate eevesdroppers in this household. If you are struggling to occupy your time? Might I suggest a brisk walk in the gardens?’ Alfred interrupted, materialising behind the small audience at the kitchen door like some sort of magic ninja. As if on cue, his response was the echo of feet fleeing. Alfred stood and watched the array of random children Master Bruce had collected fondly before glancing towards the kitchen door. Shutting it quietly, he couldn't help the small smile of amusement.

No one could hear a sound from outside the French doors. It was blatantly clear though that Bruce was telling Roy and Kori exactly what he thought about the situation. Bruce had long forgotten the carrot and had taken to brandishing the knife as he spoke his words passionately.  
Swallowing, Dick watched Roy pale so much he almost matched the white table cloth and Kori’s eyes were so wide she resembled something out of Tim’s manga collection. He refused to acknowledge the pangs of guilt hitting him in small waves. He had acted in Jason's best interests, he had. Yet as he watched his two old friends sink further and further into their chairs he couldn't help but think that maybe Jason needed friends too, companionship, love. Even if he thought it was bad idea, maybe Jason should discover that himself? It was too late to go back now, even if sobriety and hindsight was making things a little clearer. Mainly because the sound of boots crunching up the driveway broke the silence, followed by a cheerful whistling growing slowly louder.  
‘Oh fiddlesticks.’ Tim gasped, being the first to dart off in the direction of the footsteps followed by the rest of his siblings.

Jason was sauntered up the driveway without a care in the world. Hands in his jacket pockets and whistling a tune no one could quite recognise. On approaching the Manor, Jason paused and blinked at his welcoming committee in surprise before obviously doing a head count.  
‘Well you lot are all here, so who's dead kids? Come on, spit it out.’  
All eyes turned to Dick, who was doing a spectacular job of doing a goldfish impression. Jason's other eyebrow joined the first.  
‘Woah Dickie lost for words? Something must be going down.’ Trailing off, he eyed up the familiar half broken down car. ‘Huh, guess I didn't beat Roy and Kori back. Serves me right for walking here I guess. Where are they?’  
Dick squeaked. Literally squeaked. Again all eyes turned to look at him but this time in concern.  
‘Dickie? You having a stroke or summit?’ Jason asked, his smile faltering slightly at his brother's distress. ‘Look I know you don't approve but I'm good, man, I swear. Please, just tell me where my teammates are?’  
‘Bruce.’ Cass spoke up, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

Before anyone else could say a word, Roy and Kori burst through the front doors and practically ran down the steps towards the car. Halting just as he got the car door open, Roy lifted his head and spotted Jason. Smiling a smile that was far to wide to be believable, he jogged over to his friend and started shepherding him towards the car.  
‘Jaybird! There you are! Have fun? Wonderful. Say bye and let's go.’  
Frowning, Jason allowed himself to be tugged over to the car before pulling himself free.  
‘Hey what's the deal? Just find some chill. Did Alfred give you the birds and the bees talk or summit?’  
‘Or summit.’ Kori replied, clambering into the car as quickly as she could. ‘I do not like ‘the talk’ I wish not to repeat it again!’  
Jason could not look more confused. He cast a look over at his bashful siblings before his eyes lifted to spot an amused Alfred and a smug looking Bruce appear on the top step.

‘Bruce! What the fuck have you done?’ Jason bellowed, scowling at his adopted father, who just smiled cheerfully and waved.  
‘It was lovely having you Jay. Maybe stay longer next time? And bring along your delightful friends!’   
‘Roy let us go! He is doing the talk again!’ Kori screeched from the front passenger seat, hands clamped tightly over her ears. Nodding frantically, Roy practically shoved Jason onto the backseat before darting over to take the wheel.  
Bruce just kept smiling and waving.  
‘Drive safe now! And make sure to buckle up!’  
‘Jaybird seat belt now!’ Roy yelled in response and with that the car sped away.  
A very bewildered Jason peering out of the rearview window.

With the show well and truly over, most of the Batkids dispersed, most, like Barbara finding something pressing that they really must do in Gotham and making a hasty exit. Dick sauntered over to the entrance gates and leaned against the stone wall, eyes focused on the distance his Little Wing had driven off into.  
‘I cannot believe Bruce actually gave them the shot gun talk!’ Tim muttered to himself, shaking his head he made to trudge up the steps before a slight chuckle caught his attention. Looking up he saw Alfred stood watching the distance as well, a peculiar twinkle in his eye.  
‘Master Bruce did no such thing young sir.’  
‘Huh? But Alfred we all saw-‘  
‘Oh Master Timothy! You all saw what Master Bruce wished you to see. All he did was merely reiterate to Master Roy and Miss Koriand'r how pleased he was that Jason had them as friends. How proud he was of them all. I believe it was quite unnerving.’  
Chuckling again at Tim’s dumbstruck face he motioned towards Dick still standing by the front gate.  
‘I also believe it has eased Master Richard’s concerns. Not such a bad idea for an old man, don't you think Master Timothy?’


End file.
